The Water Fight

National Lampoon Dotcom Flashbacks Presents The Water Fight But first, a message from your humble archivist, the Scanner Bitch

They say that a man is a measure of what others think of him. This measure is often offered for public consumption by the publication of a great thinker's correspondence. If many years from now, some scholar decides to publish a record of my correspondence, future generations can read my outgoing e-mails with reverential awe. Items such as:
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"Why yes, I'd like to see a blonde Lolita's first gang bang. Here is my credit card number."

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"Copy DVDs at home on my PC?!?! Sign me up!"

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"A wireless 'security' camera in my home. Just in time for a visit from my sister-in-law? What's not to like? Here is my credit card number"

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"All right already! I'll scan 'The Water Fight' if you promise never to send me another e-mail!"

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Curiously, here in the National Lampoon archives, I did find some correspondence from the first man to hold my position, Jebediah Naughton, Ye Olde Transcriber Bitche of the Colonial Lampoon. Most of it is dated from the late 1700's.
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Here's a few of interest:

"Certainly, I'd like to see an engraving of a flaxen-haired wench's encounter with savage Indians. Enlcosed is 2 pounds fterling."

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"Engraving plates to produce my own copies of Common Sense?!? Sign me up!"

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"A fpyglass for searching for 'red coats' or 'bosoms next door'? Enlcosed is 2 pounds fterling."

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"Enough Sir! I'll transcribe 'Thomas Jefferson's Big Fat Ass' if you promise never to send me another letter!"

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So here, from January of 1981, the oft-requested story of revenge by John Bendel,
. .The Water Fight Jay Naughton
Scanner Bitch