Their pay may not be
great, but our boys in uniform get considerable benefits, including free
medical/dental, generous housing allowances, and the opportunity to bag
grateful babes from each newly-liberated town.
HOWEVER -- Muslim ethics
and concealing burkas are threatening this long-standing tradition.
The "Operation Iraqi Freedom" Morale Office has expressed concern about the lack of LNP (the military's acronym for Local National Poonani). When our boys liberated Paris, they found themselves knee-deep in vintage Bordeaux and untrimmed LNP. In Korea and 'Nam, our fighting forces couldn't fill out their LNP requisition forms fast enough.
At this very moment, the US Army Reserves Special Poonani Unit, "The Fighting Tramps," is steaming toward the Persian Gulf on the USS Comfort Girls to provide some much needed relief for our fighting forces.
It is with this news
that I present a salute to prostitutes everywhere.
From November of
1983 a parody that surely pissed off the editors of "Working Woman" magazine
Scanner Bitch
Archivist, Martyr
If we stop scanning misogynistic rhetoric ... then the terrorists have won.