Excerpt from National Lampoon's "Big Book Of Love" If you like this article please check out more from National Lampoon's Big Book Of Love!

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If you liked this excerpt from The Worst-Case Scenarios Survival Handbook: Masturbation, be sure to order the book for hundreds of other ways to masturbate, including How To Masturbate: • On Fire • At a Parent-Teacher Conference • While Trapped Under the Wheel of a Car • In The Middle East • On a Reality Television Show • While Running From the Police • While being knighted • During an Operation (Your's) • During an Operation (Someone Else's) • Trapped Under an Avalanche • During Bible Study • While Having Sex • While Employed as a Character at Disneyland • During a Fistfight • During the SAT's • At a Bris • In Mid-Flight After Being Flung from Your Car During an Accident and many, many more

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