By Harmon Leon

OFFICE PRANK: Buried Treasure of One-Eyed Pete!

Find co-workers hanging around the water cooler, and tell them you’ve made an astonishing discovery: you've found an old treasure map hidden behind the filing cabinet! (Note: tell people the day before that you've "made moving the filing cabinet my primary action item!" to avoid suspicion here.) According to the map, hidden somewhere in the office is the treasure of One-Eyed Pete—a salty old pirate who sailed the seven seas back in the 1800’s. Legend has it that One-Eyed Pete’s fabled treasure is worth millions.

Placing the parrot on your shoulder, tell everyone that you’ll share One-Eyed Pete’s treasure if you work as a team to find it within the confines of the office. Split the office into three different groups. Refer to people as “Matey.” Occasionally blurt out “Yarrr!” to give yourself a bit of business. Tear up the floorboards with a pick and shovel.

After hours of hectic searching, proclaim, “ I guess we’ll never find One-Eyed Pete’s treasure!” Go back to desk and enjoy hearty laugh at coworkers' expense.

 

OFFICE PRANK: Biblical Office Plague!

Come into the office one day, reading the Bible, paying close attention to biblical plagues. Like Nosterdamus, show direct correlation to biblical plagues and events which have occurred recently in the office during casual Friday. Perk coworkers' interest in Bible passages which mention locusts, claiming your office will soon be infested with this vermin due to a prophecy written thousands of years ago—and there’s nothing anyone can do about it!

Most likely coworkers will scoff, claiming that you are dribbling the ranting of a madman. At that point, jump on top of the snack table in the breakroom, and proclaim, “You’ve been warned!” Drop the subject. Later in the day, release locust, which you should have inconspicuously hidden in garbage bags under your desk the night before. Amongst the screams of horror, say to everyone, “See, I told you so!” Have a hearty laugh. Treat yourself to a cheese danish.

 

OFFICE PRANK: Amish Foolery!

THINGS NEEDED:
- A Quaker Oats Beard
- A black brim hat
- butter churning facilities

Get to work early and remove all the electrical appliances. When questioned, proclaim that the office is now Amish-compliant, in accordance with a vague turn-of-the-century building ordinance. Stress this point by wearing a black-brimmed hat and overalls. Claim that you are "Milo-Tiller of the Internet."

If your boss asks for a company report say you will finish it as soon as everyone pitches together to raise a new barn in the breakroom. Gather all the women-folk in the office and insist that they churn butter. At the water cooler, suppress unpure sexual thoughts by praying. Go back to desk and enjoy hearty laugh at coworkers' expense.

 

OFFICE PRANK: Cubicle Nation!

THINGS NEEDED:
- A shotgun
- A homemade flag
- landmines

Come to work and declare your cubicle an independent country. Construct your own flag for your cubicle/country with your face as the emblem. Hang the flag high over your work space, naming the country after yourself. Also create an original national anthem and sing it at full volume. If you can't think of an original tune, use a song from 80's rockers RATT.

When a co-worker comes near your cubicle, yell, "Get the hell out of MY country!" Make specific rules which govern your new country. Start a revolution to overthrow other cubicles. Make them refer to you as "El Presidente!" When security comes to remove you from the building, put up a fight, protecting the rights of your country and it's bi-laws. Once escorted to car, drive home and enjoy hearty laugh at coworkers' expense.

 

OFFICE PRANK: Be Your Own Evil Twin!

THINGS NEEDED:
- A comb
- Contrasting clothing
- A maniacal laugh

NOTE: The following office prank works particularly well if you’ve just been named “Employee of the Month.”

Come into the office and state your long-lost twin is visiting from out of town. Wait for a coworker to proclaim: “I didn’t know you had a long-lost twin.” Mumble an excuse about a lengthy hospitalization, then mention the fact that your long-lost twin would like to come to the Employee of the Month indoctrination ceremony, to be held later that afternoon.

Let the day go about as normal. While co-workers are diligently busy filling out reports and filing papers, sneak into the janitor’s closet. Once there, do the following:

Later, when the boss herds everyone into the conference room for the monthly Employee of the Month ceremony, arrive to the festivities as YOUR OWN EVIL TWIN.

Once there, do the following.

After mayhem erupts, quickly change back to your regular self, re-enter the room, and say interestedly, "Hey, did I miss anything?” Slap your boss on the back and call him an “old son-of-a-gun!” Go back to desk and enjoy hearty laugh at coworkers' expense.