Director/writer David O. Russell is having a lot of trouble with his new film. The SGA is putting a hold on actors for his new movie, “Nailed”, until he can prove he has the finances to pay everyone and has set them aside in a union-mandated account. As a result of this, Jake Gyllenhaal and Jessica Biel walked off the set.
This, of course, is the second bad thing to happen in production; since James Caan quit the film in April after a falling out with David over a cookie. (And, yes. I said a cookie.)
The director asked Caan, who’s character was supposed to have a cookie caught in his throat, to try to both cough and choke at the same time. The instruction angered and confused James Caan so much that he quit the film and took to the streets, ransacking local shops, quickly pursued by angry, torch-wielding villagers.
When last heard from he was screaming: “Russell… Baaad!”

Of course, Mr. Russell has a long history of confrontations on set. While filming his 1999 movie “Three Kings”, he and George Clooney almost got into a fist-fight. Then, during filming for “I Heart Huckabees”, he got into a screaming argument with, both, director Christopher Nolan (“Memento”/”The Prestige”) and Lily Tomlin (who he called the “C” word*).
Now, please, someone; tell me, how do you get into a fight with Lily Tomlin?
How exactly is that possible? She’s Lily Tomlin. That’s like getting into a fight with Elmo.
But at least Russell is a great filmmaker. At least he isn’t Uwe Boll. Who, if you haven’t heard, held boxing matches with critics of his work so he could punch the living shit out of them. Proving, once again, that beating the shit out of people really is the true path to artistry. But Boll really is a great director… who doesn’t remember the classic “BloodRayne II: Deliverance”?
The best part is, he could punch me in the face till the cows came home and his films would still suck. The man chose to make a career out of turning video games into movies, which is just a very sad reality to live if you ask me; and, probably if you ask the three people who directed the “Super Mario Brothers” movie. I wonder why Roland Joffe (the guy who directed “Killing Fields”) chose to go uncreditted for that one.

There’s a lot going on today, so you’re going to want to keep reading after the jump!

On a lighter note, Hugh Hefner wants Miley Cyrus to pose nude for Playboy once she turns 18. This is apparently part of Hugh’s much larger goal of going blind before he turns 85.
Trust me, that girl will age like pudding in the sun. I’m willing to bet, ten years from know she looks like someone melted Mr. Stay Puft.
[I’m Sorry, Miley. I don’t know you and these jokes are just cruel. I’m really not a mean guy in real life… for serious, I’m not. If I ever meet you, I’ll give you a piece of candy or something. You know, as a gesture. Just a little something from me - to you. But, in all fairness, I don’t feel that bad since you could probably buy and sell my parents house a million times over.]

Also, Cynthia Nixon (who played Miranda on “Sex and the City”) has said she wants to wed her partner Christine Marinoni because she thinks it would be an “act of rebellion”. Which is amusing, since normally marriage is considered more an act of conformity. It’s like she’s independently riding a tricycle in a world of bikers. She’s decided she’s gonna kick the volleyball. Way to make a statement. Bad ass, Cynthia. Bad ass.

In another act of conformative rebellion, Dennis Farina has apologized for carrying a loaded gun. Everything about that is predictable; the gun, the apology… the whole damn thing. Way to be the man you project into the media, Dennis. Enjoy that, you gangster-ass motherfucker, you.
I’m actually a big fan of Farina’s career (I mean, “Snatch”? “Little Big League”? Come on! Not much tops that…), I just don’t get why he thought he could get a .22 caliber pistol through the Los Angeles International Airport. How did he think that would work?
Like, TSA would ask: “What’s that?”
And then he would go “Oh, that’s just my blow-dryer. For my slowly thinning hair” and then, from there on out it would be all smiles and candy? A “go on through, sir” and he’s on his way?
Did he really think they wouldn’t find the gun? Because these people have found lighters in my backpack; which is impressive, since I can’t even find lighters in my backpack.

Or was it something else? Did he think, “they might find it, but, because I’m Dennis Farina, they’ll assume I’m licensed to carry weaponry”?
And also, will somebody tell me why it is that all the celebrities these days use .22 caliber pistols? Whatever happened to the .38 snub-nose? Those things made you look like Bogart. And, since (as far as I know) none of these celebrities are actually killing people, they probably do want to go with the gun that makes them look the coolest.
You know, since they’re carrying them around the streets as fashion accessories and all.

*The “C” Word is “Cunt”, by the way. It’s a good word; I once landed the triple word score with it. Well, actually it was “cunts” plural; and, believe-you-me, there was some uproar, but after a fair deal of debate I was able to convince the Glee club it was acceptable.

Filed under: the Zaz!