F’NMTV GETS HOT AND STEAMY

Photo: Chris Polk/MTV

Did the pregnant Ashley Simpson flash the crowd in an effort to upstage her hubby host, Pete Wentz? Read on to find out! First off, this show is about the music so settle down – we’ll get to the sex in a minute. Before I forget don’t forget to check out F’NMTV tonight, Friday at 8pm on MTV. If you don’t want spoilers then don’t read on ’till tonight….but if you’re so inclined, have at it!

GYM CLASS HEROES were the first to take the stage premiering their video for “Cookie Jar.” Sporting a JT-esque hook, this single is destined to rise faster than Jeremy Piven’s stripper bill. The band explains that groupies are just like cookies that they can’t keep their hands off and the audience loves it. As for the video, eh… MC Travis McCoy dances around shaking his hands for the majority of the time and finally comes across beauty pageant girls labeled as various cookies. It has its moments but ultimately lacks an individual style. My advice to the band: less hands more cookies. Where were the nutter butters? Show some love.
SOLANGE who? SOLANGE KNOWLES, that’s who bounced up to the stage next to promote her new video for “Sandcastle Disco.” Stepping out from sister Beyonce’s shadow, she donned the hat of artist and director for this song. Plus, she wore rainbow eye shadow in an apparent stab at upping her sister in celebrity vanity. Nice. All kidding aside, she does a decent job on her directing debut. The video begins in a plain white studio with Solange and her band. It hits every note as it builds to the first chorus as colors and oversized props sprinkle the screen. It is mesmerizing, but then loses a little steam as it starts to repeat the cycle. Oh yeah, and the song blows. I mean wow it is bad.
Meanwhile, ex-Destiny’s Child member Michelle Williams claims to love the song and agrees to a threesome with the judges to prove it. No one seems to argue with her.
Next up, THE GAME. What can I say, this man is talented and his new song “My Life” is a poignant undertaking. His entrance was a, whoa how long has that guy been standing there situation, as the rapper suddenly appeared huddled in the back facing the wrong direction. A clearly surprised Wentz went to aid the confused man by tapping him on the shoulder. THE GAME turned around and blushed at his error. As his video played the crowd swayed to the images of Compton, ‘the hood,’ and street violence while Lil Wayne sang in a graveyard. Boring. We’ve seen all of this before. This is a nice chill song with a very literally adapted video. Get ready to watch THE GAME cry on screen as he raps sad. Did someone say redundant?
In conclusion, there are a few new songs out there that rock with videos that are forgettable. AND no, Ashley Simpson did not flash the crowd. She’s pregnant, come on. That’s weird.